i'll try no matter how hard it is

it was very hard for me to see it. but i should realize that it was real, not a dream. but A REAL ! reality ! again ! i should know that everything is real, everything what i saw. it was real. yeahh...

but do you know how painful it was ? do you know that maybe i could cry ? but i realized that maybe it was the best way how God made me wake up from my dream, from my sleep. i saw it. i knew that few of them supported and helped me to stand and keep moving until now. but do you know that actually i can't walk ? i really need time to move from 0. i made a promise for myself but i think... i broke my promise. it was my fault and i don't want to repeat the same mistake. ):

i tried

i tried

and 

i tried...

i could move and walk, i could. but now... did i go back from 0 again ? again ? YEAP ! i did ! and i was so stupid to repeat that silly thing again when i need to concentrate in other few things. i tried to forget it when i was reading my book. but do you know that everything what i saw keep repeating in my mind and it seemed always happen every second in my life ! i hate it !

i know that i should keep moving and never stop. but now... sigh !!!! maybe i can't.

but i don't want to break my promise again. i should. i should !!!

i'll try to do it no matter how hard it is. i will... no matter how hard it is.